It's a quest of lifetime and a privilege to become who you truly are.

How do you become conscious, an inch, at a time...

It's a quest of lifetime and a privilege to become who you truly are.

To become who you truly are, is to become a conscious participant in a dialogue with unconscious. It is becoming infinitely curious about every mood, every emotion, every thought that crosses you mind.

And like Dr. AIzenstat teaches, ask "Who is visiting now?"

What archetypal energy (what gods), what ancestral energy, what activated complex is at work here... and while doing all that remaining spontaneous and not lose the joy of life.

What I have come to realize over and over, after every few months of progress that how much of ourselves do we not know... And how easy it is to slip and how little it takes to consume you into an old complex (cluster of highly charged energy). How easy it is to slip into people pleasing, or start compulsively cleaning and organizing home, or compulsively chasing another goal of God knows, whose ego? To overcompenstae the unlived life of parents or spending your entire energy in proving to be 'Anything but' your parents....

And also every 6 months or so, you feel more freer than ever, and you go "Ah... now I know.. now I have become conscious... Oh I thought 6 months ago I knew, but so much of what I was doing was still my conditioned response." And if you are lucky, you feel the same way, yes, again after six months.

In this process, your education and society ideals would come in the way...

The theories of spiritual enlightenment of the ideal of zen like state, pulls you away from being present to the icky, sticky, feelings... the rush to get to the other end.. in the bliss once again... only to realize you are yet again repressing anger!!

For me it always is repressing sadness more than repressing anger...

I have to be constantly reminded to be here with the struggle... stay in the struggle... not to defeat it and come on top , not to befriend it either.... but to listen to it with curiosity.....

There is no tricking it... there is only one way to move consciously through it.

Unconsciously you can repress it, say and act the opposite of what you actually feel (reaction formation... I have been here too), wear the cloak of limitless positivity (and there too)... but to move through it consciously, there is only one way... staying present to it....not hoping that it would go away, but to accept it for what it is.... An archetypal energy... the energy of death, disease, aging, abandonment, anxiety, insomnia, insecurities and feeling inferior in love when you love someone more than they love you, and you know it!!. the energies that all people all over the world, have felt in all times that have passed and are yet to come.....

It got to be something that we as a human race can probably not get rid of or escape from.... so let us be in dialogue with it.. which gods are evoked? what is making it's claim on us? Where is the life out of balance? And then respectfully keep the conversation going.... That's all we can do and THAT, my friend, is plenty!!

Amber Tariq

Depth Coach

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